Trot Times for June 5, 2013

It was quite the night for home runs around the league. The Astros socked six home runs from six different players against the Orioles, while the Rockies needed only three players for the same feat (thanks to a trio of blasts from Carlos Gonzalez). Meanwhile, Kyle Seager hit a grand slam in the bottom of the 14th inning to tie the game up. Oh, and Domonic Brown hit another home run. Ho hum.

It's the tenth home run in the last 12 games for Brown and, somehow, people are starting to get annoyed. Apparently Brown takes too wide of turns around the bases and celebrates too much with his teammates after he gets to the dugout. Also, apparently, the whole world is filled with people who can't have fun. Over this incredible run, Brown has an average tater trot of 21.57 seconds. That's faster than the league-average tater trot! And only one of his ten trots took longer than 22.5 seconds. But speed doesn't matter when you really want to complain about something.

Let's not forget that, in 2010, when Adam Rosales was hitting home runs on a regular basis, some folks were complaining about his trots. Adam Rosales! The man who speeds home like his baby is on fire. Back then, the complaint was that he was drawing too much attention to himself by running hard. "Slow down, Rosie," they said. The real problem, as it always is, is that players and writers and fans like to make way too big of a deal of things when they have nothing else to talk about. Since no one can seem to figure out how to throw a ball past Domonic Brown, they have to complain about something else. And I guess a man having fun in the midst of an historic run is the easy target.

It would be best if these writers and players who keep complaining about Brown could just come out and say what they're truly thinking. "He's better than me and I have no idea how to process these emotions. Instead, I will make a pointless criticism about something that I wouldn't otherwise care about and hope to hide behind that rather than face the real issues that I'm dealing with. My fear and insecurity must not be made public. Look at that hot dogging jerk!"

Okay, on to the trots!

Home Run of the Day: Carlos Gonzalez #3, Colorado Rockies – 25.94 seconds [video]
Carlos Gonzalez hit three home runs in the game. Troy Tulowitzki hit two. Todd Helton joined in with a blast of his own as the Rockies routed the Reds 12-4. It was a nice bit of teamwork from the clubs three stars. Also a nice bit of teamwork? The consistently slow trots these three players gave us. For their six home runs on Wednesday, the Rockies averaged a tater trot time of 24.99 seconds. Twenty-five seconds! Each! And that even includes the 21.51 second trot Gonzalez managed on his first blast. Now, we all know that Helton is a notoriously slow trotter, but his was only one of six. Gonzalez and Tulowitzki hit the bulk of the home runs and had the most effect on the average trot time.

25 seconds. And people are complaining about Domonic Brown?

Slowest Trot: Todd Helton, Colorado Rockies – 26.68 seconds [video]
The Rockies collected five of the six slowest trots on Wednesday. The lone slow trot that didn't belong to the club was from Matt Wieters, who clocked in at 25.32 seconds. That would have qualified as only the fifth-slowest trot of Colorado's sextet.

Quickest Trot: Dustin Pedroia, Boston Red Sox – 19.01 seconds [video]
Pedroia wins this on a mere technicality. In Philadelphia, Miami's Derek Dietrich sped around the bases again en route to a top ten quickest trot of the year (the video). However, the Marlins feed of the trot was cut off before he reached home plate and, for some reason, the Phillies feed claimed to be in commercial during his at-bat. Dietrich likely touched home plate in the 17-to-17.5 second range based on the video evidence, but, without a clear shot of him near the plate, his time goes down as "N/A". Too bad.


All of Today's Trots

Todd Helton.........26.68   Brandon Moss........21.39
Carlos Gonzalez #3..25.94   Marwin Gonzalez.....21.18
Troy Tulowitzki #1..25.38   Gerald Laird........21.13
Carlos Gonzalez #2..25.35   Brett Gardner.......21.08
Matt Wieters........25.32   Mark Trumbo #1......21.05
Troy Tulowitzki #2..25.07   Marlon Byrd #1......20.97
Adrian Beltre.......23.25   Travis Hafner.......20.83
Jedd Gyorko.........23.01   Paul Goldschmidt....20.63
Jose Altuve.........22.72   Marlon Byrd #2......20.58
Xavier Paul.........22.43   Scott Van Slyke.....20.46
J.J. Hardy..........22.4    Domonic Brown.......20.28
Yan Gomes...........21.94   Mark Trumbo #2......20.01
J.D. Martinez.......21.93   Jason Castro........20.01
Evan Gattis.........21.86   Howie Kendrick......19.62
Carlos Pena.........21.79   Kyle Seager.........19.48
Matt Dominguez......21.68*  Dustin Pedroia......19.01
Carlos Gonzalez #1..21.51   Derek Dietrich......N/A
Cody Ransom.........21.45   David Wright........N/A

Click here for the ongoing 2013 Tater Trot Tracker Leaderboard. You can also follow @TaterTrotTrkr on Twitter for more up-to-the-minute trot times.

About Larry Granillo

Larry Granillo has been writing Wezen Ball since 2008 and has dealt with such touchy topics as Charlie Brown's baseball stats and Ferris Bueller's day off. In 2010, he got the bright idea to time every home run trot in baseball; he has been missing ever since.