Forgive me, but I'm in the middle of watching Patrick Swayze kick some ass in Road House. We'll have to get right to the trots.
Home Run of the Day: Pedro Alvarez, Pittsburgh Pirates – 24.03 seconds [video]
The Pirates beat the Brewers 2-1 off of two solo home runs for their 50th win of the season. This shot from Alvarez is still travelling. It was last seen passing over the Canadian border.
Slowest Trot: Alfonso Soriano, Chicago Cubs – 27.33 seconds [video]
One of four extreme trots on the day. Jason Kipnis comes in at number two with his 27.08 second trot, with Hanley Ramirez's 26.43 second trot and Chris Davis's 25.79 second trot coming in behind him.
Quickest Trot: Austin Jackson, Detroit Tigers – 18.5 seconds [video]
Jackson edges out Chase Utley's two trots (19.11 seconds and 18.82 seconds) for the top trot of the day.
All of Today's Trots Alfonso Soriano....27.33 Matt Adams #2......21.51 Jason Kipnis.......27.08 Brett Wallace......21.02 Hanley Ramirez.....26.43 Justin Smoak.......21.01 Chris Davis #2.....25.79 Shin-Soo Choo......21.01 Chris Davis #1.....24.3 Freddie Freeman....20.94 Pedro Alvarez......24.03 Ryan Flaherty......20.84 Chris Iannetta.....24.01 A.J. Pollock.......20.68 Jose Bautista #1...23.68 Giancarlo Stanton..20.68 Miguel Montero.....23.64 Garrett Jones......20.68 Jose Bautista #2...23.33 Howie Kendrick.....20.25 Starlin Castro.....22.83 Luke Scott.........19.22 Trevor Plouffe.....22.7 Chase Utley #1.....19.11 Devin Mesoraco.....21.98 Chase Utley #2.....18.82 Matt Adams #1......21.97 Austin Jackson.....18.5 Asdrubal Cabrera...21.62
Click here for the ongoing 2013 Tater Trot Tracker Leaderboard. You can also follow @TaterTrotTrkr on Twitter for more up-to-the-minute trot times.